Stole this from the Chicago Tribune

By David Martin.
September 29, 2004

Let’s face it. The presidential debates are a nuisance. But for whatever reason, most television networks feel obliged to carry them.

So stop your whining and make the best of a bad situation with the Official 2004 Presidential Debate Drinking Game. All you have to do is line up your favorite beverage and pick a candidate. Then let the game begin:

– Every time President Bush says the word “safer,” take a drink. If he uses the word “democracy” in the same sentence, make it a double.
– For every John Kerry reference to the UN, have a drink.
– If Bush uses the phrase “compassionate conservative,” you must chug your entire beverage.
– Take one drink for every three times Kerry points with his left hand.
– Any previously recorded Bushism, like “misunderestimate” or “subliminable,” used by the president during the debate requires one drink.
– If Kerry exceeds the time limit for any response, take a drink.
– Back-to-back offenses require a double shot and a NoDoz.

A reference by your candidate to any of the following requires one drink:

1) Florida
2) North Korea
3) Axis of evil
4) Saddam Hussein
5) The American people

– And for an exciting twist on the game, anytime anybody mentions the word “Vietnam,” everybody has to take a drink.

In this game, everyone’s a winner. At worst, you’ll reach the end of the debate experiencing a warm, pleasant buzz. But if you’re really lucky, you’ll pass out by 10 o’clock and won’t have to listen to the closing statements. Cheers!