No Grasp of Your Reality

I found a post by a guy I hadn’t read before, linked from Mark Hornes’ blog. It’s comments on the recent PCA General Assembly, but I really loved his quote at the end:

Chapter 1 of [The Westminster] confession seems to be saying this in essence “Stop arguing about the confession. Go do Biblical Theology. Not all parts are clear. Bring clarity to the discussion via the discipline of Biblical Theology. Then talk about it in terms of Systematic Theology. Then go do Biblical Theology. Repeat till Jesus comes!” Going beyond the confession is actually the way to be confessional. The way to be married isn’t to stand around in a suit and a dress repeating words. Go enjoy your union! Our union with Christ came to us through the word. Our clarity, like our vows, come through creeds and confessions. But we camp out in the Scriptures, just as we must sleep in our marriage bed and live in our family home. (emphasis mine)

I’m going to lay out a couple of facts here, and then let you in on my latest theory. If true, this dire situation could lead to the destruction of the United States!

1. Chinese restaurants exist around the United States.
2. Chinese restaurants have different “formats”, including take out, delivery, and the all-mighty buffet style.
3. Chinese food tends to be extremely inexpensive, to the point where it defines reason that they could ever make any money.
4. Chinese food is delicious.
5. Chinese food is identical around the country. While there are some slight variances on the tastes of different food types, egg foo yong, mu shu pork, General Tso’s chicken, and mu gu gai pan all taste the same whether you’re in New York, California, or anywhere in between.
6. Despite the previous fact, the Chinese food we have in America does not exist in China. Go over there, and ask for shrimp fried rice and an egg roll, and they’ll look at you like you’re crazy.

Add up all these facts, and the answer, I believe, is both terrifying and obvious.

Chinese restaurants in the United States are subsidized by officials in the Chinese government and the Chinese military in order to make Americans overweight and complacent. It is part of their first strike strategy, so when they do decide to invade the United States, the Americans will be less likely and less able to defend themselves.

Their assault has been ongoing for some time, but with the advent of the cheap Chinese buffet, their plan has gone into full production. It is now only a matter of time before the citizens of the United States will be so fat that we will simply change the channel when we hear about the invasion.

Warn your friends… warn your neighbors… and don’t go back for thirds at the buffet!

Ron Paul aside, next year’s presidential election looks like it’s shaping up to be a extremely pathetic in terms of who will be on the ballot. From the RINO to the suit, from the semi-liberal to the actor, it’s shaping up to be real circus.

What really scares me, though, is not the parade of names trying to one-up each other in the primaries, but, looking past that, to the general election, and the principles that conservative Christians are going to be selling down the river.

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I’m seriously considering putting in an order for Ron Paul Signs, (you can see them on display here). However, they’re running for $165 for a lot of 100 on Ebay, so I may need to wait until I get my allowance next month. Once I do pick them up, I’ll let you all know, so you can swing by and pick up your own sign.

P.S. If anyone is interesting in helping defray the costs, let me know in the comments.

Found an editorial in Crisis Magazine, linked off reddit, by Mark Shea called “Insensitivity Training: Facing the Crybaby Culture“. After spending a good amount of time describing some inane, and often unbelievable examples of people whom you would think are getting paid to be offended, he ends with this advice for these whiners.

Consider the possibility that you just need to get a life. Signs of this need include spending all day in a sweat of irritation because religious people exist, hallucinations that you are being raped by classical music, constant convulsive outrage over words like “history” and “master/slave” or “outing,” and a gasping sense of oppression at the thought of urinals. Wigging out over leprechauns and tomahawk chops is another “get a life” indicator. Still other signs include loss of sleep and anger-management issues over presidential greeting cards, cartoons, ice cream lids, and books with pigs in them.

While he does touch on crybabies in the religious world, I think an entire article could have been written about overly sensitive people the church. For a group of people who have been saved by Grace, we tend to be the least gracious people to our fellow wretches.

Mr. Wizard, the man who taught science to millions of geeks when we were kids, died today of cancer.

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