No Grasp of Your Reality

“Safety from external danger is the most powerful director of national conduct. Even the ardent love of liberty will, after a time, give way to its dictates. The violent destruction of life and property incident to war; the continual effort and alarm attendant on a state of continual danger, will compel nations the most attached to liberty, to resort for repose and security to institutions which have a tendency to destroy their civil and political rights. To be more safe, they, at length, become willing to run the risk of being less free.” - Alexander Hamilton, The Federalist No. 8, p. 33.

So, Michael Moore’s new movie, Fahrenheit 9/11, is coming out this Friday, and I’m really interesting in seeing it. Now, being as his last movie, Bowling for Columbine, was pretty much a diatribe against Lockheed Martin, some of my coworkers are understandably concerned that I would supporting the guy financially.

So, this brings up an interesting quandry. Because the powers that be have decided it is necessary to pay money to hear someone else’s idea if that person decides to promulgate their ideas via books, seminar, or documentary, then would that encourage people to show their disagreement by “boycotting” that person’s idea by not listening?

It seems that a “consumer” must then decide whether or not they agree with an idea before they’ve actually heard what the person has to say.

Of course, not all media is like this. Radio and television, generally speaking, do not require direct payments to individual shows, so there is no-one telling me that I should show my disapproval of the ideas on NPR by not listening. Nor do liberals feel they are supporting Rush Limbaugh by listening to his show.

Of course, if Michael Moore was really interested in simply promoting his ideas, then it might be in his interest to offer free tickets to those who would otherwise not attend.

Our culture is entertainment oriented, and in order to reach the masses, you need to wrap your message in an entertaining package. And entertainment is subjective.

A reviewer in PhillyBurbs wrote, “Even those people who hate Michael Moore - and they are legion - might agree that he asks some very tough questions that deserve to be answered.” Sadly, many will refuse to pay money to hear the questions asked.

So, I came home from work a few days ago, and my monitor wouldn’t come up. The light was green, so it was getting a signal from my computer, but nothing came on the screen.

Weird.

I unplugged the monitor, and plugged it back in… nothing.

I logged onto the computer from my other box, and was able to do so, so I knew the computer was working. I rebooted the computer remotely, and heard it shutdown and reboot. But no screen when it came up.

Sigh….

I hadn’t really had time to try reseating my video card, or moving my good monitor over to my linux box. I used Sarah’s working windows box in frustration. grrr.

Tonight, Sarah was hovering over me at her computer, trying to find a way to reclaim that which is rightfully hers. She asked if I looked for less obvious things that the kids could have been playing with. Right… they threw something at my box and broke my video card. Figures.

So, we start messing with the buttons on the monitor… and found out that the brighness was turned all the way down.

You may have noticed at the bottom of all the webpages on my side, that there is a “Some Rights Reserved” icon. Clicking on it will take you to the Creative Commons website, where you can learn about what rights we reserve and what we’ve “given up”.

Over the last few years, I’ve been doing a lot of research on intellectual property, and especially it’s relationship to Biblical morality. I’ve seen many Christians accepting the entertainment industry’s mantra that violating copyright is “stealing”. After looking at the modern attitude towards intellectual property, and the way that scripture looks at “true” property, I’ve concluded that the idea that copyright violation is not “stealing”, that is, it’s not a violation of the 8th commandment.

I’m currently thinking of writing a booklet on the subject, to pass around for criticism. Of course, when it is done, I will be releasing it in a freely distributable version for criticism.

It’s amazing how quickly insomnia kicks in for me when I’m pregnant. Some women sleep like a baby. This baby resembles more of a newborn - up every two hours, or days and nights switched. As you can see, it isn’t even 5am yet. I have been up since three.

The liberating thought occurred to me after subscribing to FlyLady.net — I really do have too much clutter in my life, and it’s making me frustrated and angry. Tonight for the first time in nearly a month, I cleaned my sink and kitchen counter and actually threw away a lot of clutter. It felt great. I plan to do this with each room. Clutter, by the way, has an interesting etymology. Go ahead. Click the link.

The thought also occurred to me that while there are volumes about organization, there are little organizers that really meet the needs of the modern woman. Flylady has a nice one, but it isn’t pretty. So, as I create an organizer for myself, I will consider the rest of Christian women along with it. It will contain encouraging verses, a place for a brief journal/devotion entry (schedule it in!), prayer requests and praises, then organizing cues and time slots and it will be customizable, and a weekly menu plan with shopping list — each day with a box for the menu. I envision the beginning to have an overall goals worksheet for each room and then each daily page with a corresponding number or color to allow a person to write in the need for that zone. It will also include cues for spending time with children and teaching them God’s word. All the things that are areas of frustration for me (because of clutter), and that I know are also frustrating to other women.

There. The thought has been written down. In summary: There is room in the market for a Life Organizer for Christian Women — broken down by yearly goals, monthly goals, weekly goals, and daily goals. It needs to be pretty enough to sit in view. And, it needs to have a journaling feel to it - daily spaces like, “Today I am entrusting the following things to the Lord___________” and “Today, I am rejoicing in the Lord because ____________”

I’m yawning.

An anecdote: Yesterday morning, while I was yawning, Thomas said to me, “Mom, if you’re tired, we can go to grandma’s house and you can lay down on her bed.” What a sweetie pie!

Good night…er…. good morning?

Normally, I believe that the bedroom is a sacred (read “set-apart”, not “holy”) room; a private area dedicated to the special, personal relationship between a man and his wife. However, due to recent complaints… nay… comments from my wife regarding my reaction to the wonderful news that she is bearing my fourth child, I feel the need to temporarly allow you all a peek into the secret world that is the Tom/Sarah reproduction cycle (and yes, it’s a cycle).

Let me explain to you my wife’s philosophy regarding the biological function known as human reproduction. My wife has this idea that her body is out to get her. For some reason unknown to her, God and her reproductive system have formed a sinister alliance which has determined that she will have somewhere in the vicinity of two dozen children.

Her strategy over the past years has been to use all the God-authorized methods for thwarting Him, including herbs, witchcraft, calendars, rhythms, themometers, and strange incantations. These details of these methods are a mystery to me, and the best I can do is nod dumbly, and comfort myself with the blessings of my three older children, and the knowledge of the conspiracy between my wife’s body and God. If I ever had to choose in a bet between my wife and God, I’d kiss her on the cheek, and throw my cash down on God’s pile.

After coming home from my recent trip to Japan, my wife was complaining about feeling ill, which is something she rarely does. Typically, she’ll start complaining about “a slight pain” right before she keels over from a burst appendix. So, when she said she was “feeling ill”, I knew that either she had contracted the Bubonic Plague, or, well… you know.

Now, keeping in mind all the background information regarding my wife’s firm belief that she is going to run out of names in the baby name book before she stops having children, when she comes into the bedroom this morning with a positive pregnancy test, the first thought in my mind was that I could once again collect on betting for God, and against the collective wisdom of this age. I just can’t let her know that I’m in on the conspiracy between God and her reproductive system.

So, there… I have no apologies for my reaction to the wonderful news.

The Dads and Daughters Dinner went so so well.

The food was great, the location was set up for us before we got there, the flower arrangements were beautiful, and Tim Witmer did an excellent job. He started by saying, “There are two things that daughters learn from their dads that they can’t learn from their moms: About God as a Father, and about what a future husband should be like. His lesson was, “”Being a AAA Dad” “Unless the Lord builds the house they labor in vain who build it.” Psalm 127:1: ACCEPTING, AFFECTIONATE, ATTENTIVE.

He said that men need to be these things to their daughters, and to their wives.

Will write more later.. writing an article for the church newsletter about the dinner.

I need to get some rest.

After a while of feeling queasy and very tired — to which brushed off as Tom’s being away and not eating or sleeping properly — I had a positive pregnancy test this morning. The due date calculator says that Feb 20th is the due date.

I do hope this pregnancy will be as smooth as Aiden’s. I’m feeling very ill and tired today, although I think I may also be getting sick.. Aiden has been sick for the past two days, and I may have caught something from him. Sore throat, painfully achey, and feverish.

So what did Tom say when I told him? He laughed.

How am I supposed to react when my wife says that this guy is cute? She also says I’m cute! What does that say about me?!

Well, last night I made it hope from Japan. I had a busy last couple days over there, and I didn’t really have to write about them here while they were happening, but I’ll try to jot some of my notes down over the next few days.

I was able to visit the Tsukiji fish market, and it was amazing. We were scheduled to fly out Friday, grabbing the shuttle from the hotel at 11:30am. The fish market was in full swing from 5 to 8am, so, against character, Bob, Tony, and I all got to bed early Thursday evening, and left for the subway at 6am.

Like with all the huge districts in Tokyo, the major attractions are surrounded by minor supporting attractions that can fool you into thinking you are already there, when you’re only scratching the surface. Akihabara, the electronics district, is surrounded by enough appliance stores and duty free shops that you would end up being underwhelmed if you thought you had arrived. If you continue to push through the perimeter, though, you see what big really is.

Outside the fish market where many small retailers, and I was beginning to feel a bit disappointed. The only thing keeping me going was the fact that there were men on delivery go-carts (they sounded like the go-cart engines) all heading empty towards a futher point, and leaving full.

We kept moving towards that point, we had to struggle to keep from being run over. Surprisingly, though, all the people who were working at the market were very polite, and agreeable. As we were walking slowly down a narrow path between shops, and man was coming though carrying a large box… as he comes up behind, we heard a distinct “Get out of my way!”, and we all jumped for the side. A Japanese man, who looked as though he had just spoken his only known english phrase, walked by us with a twinkle in his eye and a smile on his face.

Finally, we reached the actual market, and it was amazing. At 7am, I was walking through an area the size of a large convention center, where everyone had piles and piles of fish. Frozen tuna, twice my size, were stacked, and being cut up using band saws. Shrimp, jumping around in their boxes, were seperated according to size and color. There were soft shelled crabs, breaded and still alive in their boxes.

I got a couple of pictures, so I’ll make sure they are posted when go down to the car to get the camera.

Anyway, it’s good to be home. I’m exhausted as usual, and I’ll be spending the weekend getting used to the timeshift.

Tom is home! We got stuck in traffic from some sort of dress-up occasion at Coatesville Highschool. Lots of police, baracades, limos, balloons and prom-like attire could be seen.

Traffic was heavy all the way to Route 1, completely stopped at times, and so it took all of the self-control I could muster to keep from getting road rage. Poor Tom called and was like, “Honey, where are you!?!?” and I was only half-way there. So, he had to wait for a half hour and I picked him up at the curb. The kids were all asleep, too. So so so good to see him. Now, I’m incredibly tired. When he’s gone, I don’t sleep.. and I somehow manage without it. But, when he’s home, I am overcome with tiredness… a peace that I can just REST upon, I guess, knowing he’s home and safe with me

I’m glad that I read this story about a Lockheed guy from New Jersey the day after Tom got home!! No doubt Tom will hear more at work.

Psa 69:15-18 Let not the waterflood overflow me, neither let the deep swallow me up, and let not the pit shut her mouth upon me. Hear me, O LORD; for thy lovingkindness is good: turn unto me according to the multitude of thy tender mercies. And hide not thy face from thy servant; for I am in trouble: hear me speedily. Draw nigh unto my soul, and redeem it: deliver me because of mine enemies.

Tony Rogers, Bob Grawl, and I had a day off today, so we took a trip down to the Meiji shrine in the southwest part of the city.

We started out the morning late, so we stopped at the noodle place right next to the ANA Hotel where I’m staying. As I’ve said before, the food in Toyko is very expensive, so the ramen houses are a wonderful relief to the wallet. For 750 yen, you can get a large bowl of miso broth, with noodles and pork (or chicken, if you prefer). It’s a delicious food choice that even the pick Tony Rogers can eat and be satisfied.

We took the subway right down to the entrance to the park, and walked along a gravel road in the rain about a quarter mile until we came to the open area where the shrine is housed. The walkway to the shrine was beautiful, surrounded by the forest, wet with the sporadic rain.

The arches leading up to the shrine are amazing, dwarfing us as we went through them. Look closely at the bottom-right of the arch to see Tony and Bob.

For a Monday afternoon, there were a lot of people there. Many Japanese tourists were there snapping pictures of the shrine.

Once we actually arrived at the shrine, it had the traditional elements found at Shino shrines. At the end of the shrine, there is a offeratory, where guest will throw in a few coins, and clap twice.

Once we were done at the shine, we took a walk around the surrounding gardens, which, of course, were also very beautiful. They’ve managed to cultivate the plants and trees, while still keeping a very natural look to everything.

Whatever you do, though, don’t try to go to bathroom at the Shrine (or just about anywhere that isn’t the hotel), or you may need to deal with this.

What a day. Kids lied. Escapes were made — out the front door, the back door, and through the fence. Teeth marks were inflicted upon children by children. Bottoms turned red. Pee marked the floor twice. Once, it was blamed by the culprit on an innocent bystanding child — an example of a lying incident. At one point, I was quite angry with my son, and I called my friend Beth. She reminded me that children often take one or two times before remembering not to do something, and that I needed to be patient. Even though the gravity of my kids sneaking out and playing in the street is far greater than disobeying on little things, their minds process it the same.

I made dinner for the people across the street, since I had extras of mine. They recently got engaged. Threw in a bottle of wine, a card, and a print out of 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a. Later, she came over to invite me out on Saturday, but I have the Dinner on Saturday. Thanked her and took a rain check. I felt so bad. Tabitha kept pinching her, Thomas and Tab were fighting, Thomas knocked open her purse. She kept saying was fine – after all, she is a teacher. Every time I see her, though, she seems to catch me at the height of craziness. I feel so dumpy and apologetic around her. She kept saying how sorry they were for me, and I was like, “really, I’m fine. He’ll be home on Friday.” Sigh.

I do admit, today was an ‘over the edge’ day for me. I seriously felt like my stress levels were way too high. My neck and back hurt, I was so tense. I tried to see if one of my friends could go out with me tonight, just to get me out of the house, but she was busy and her fiancé wasn’t able to watch kids because the hockey game is one. It was totally not their fault – I called at last minute. I just felt like screaming, though, “YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND… THIS IS NOT A POLITE REQUEST… IT HAS BEEN ME AND A BUNCH OF KIDS FOR ALMOST A MONTH NOW!” The past two weeks have been like 50 degrees and raining every day, so it’s a lot of being cooped up indoors.

And the thing is, that it’s not the one or two hour moments of relief that I need, it’s like a WEEK.

I am torn between “I’m fine, I can do this” and “GET ME THE HELL OUT OF HERE.”

Even now, tired as I am, Tabitha is still crying. Aiden’s still whimpering (he cut his third tooth today), and there is food still on the table from dinner.

The bunny is beating his head against the cage. It’s simply too small and there is not a removable bottom to the cage, so the poop builds up. I’m so tired of cleaning out the cage, and the rabbit hates being in it even more. Will have to look for a cage tomorrow when I go to my appointment to have the lump on my arm looked at — with the help of some MRI films.

There are those who will read this and say, “Oh, she needs to trust in God more.”

For those who are saying that, you can pray for me… and watch my kids and clean my house… and the poop.

The highlight of my day: Both Aiden and Quinn used the potty today. Bravo. Two less smelly diapers to change.

… and now for more laundry than anyone should be allowed to do, and a movie to hopefully help it go quicker.

Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a

Thomas just back from visiting the nursing home. Our church does a service there, one Sunday a month. He went with Becky and Tom. He reported that there were a lot of “broken ladies there.” He apparently was shaking hands, giving hugs and kisses and telling everyone his dad was in Japan.